Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
