this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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