yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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