FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
