Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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