i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
