So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
