just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
