Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
