Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
