I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
