I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My balls are so social today.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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