OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
