There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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