Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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