i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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