he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
