Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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