Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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