You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
