she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
