mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
