professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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