I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
