Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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