So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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