I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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