I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
