mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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