he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
