her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
