so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
