thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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