But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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