You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
