yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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