Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
