I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize