There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
