I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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