So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
