you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The air taste purple.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
