Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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