what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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