If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
