I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
