Im at strip club and am horny
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
