so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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