This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
