just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
