PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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