I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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