just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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