She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
