Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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