Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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