He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
