Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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