I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
