i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
