I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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