You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
