I can tuck mytits in my pants
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you never un-have a 4some
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
