the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize