Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
