if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
