doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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