I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
